blue

All these times, I’ve wondered why…
Why you’ve changed
Why you’ve seemed to forget me. Forget us. Forget our relationship. Forget our love.
Why you don’t become the man with whom I fall in love. Become the man I cherish. Become the man who fascinates me with his intelligence, his charm, his attitude. The man whose smile knocks me off my feet. The man whom I see first when I start dreaming at nights. The man who makes me happy.
The man I’ve loved and probably I will always love.
I have wondered why. Now there’s no need to ask for I have found the answer.
It’s ME
Yes I’m the one who cause it. I’m the one who destroy our love. I’m the one who ruins everything. I’m the jerky-ass. I ruin our love not because I have an affair nor I ignore you. No. Not that.

I’m ruining this with my attitude. My silly, unimportant attitude. For being too needy. For being a self-centered person, only thinking about myself, my own feeling. Whereas I should know, it
takes two to tango. It always does.

And for all the mess I’ve caused, I’ve had my punishment. I’m counting the days until you leave me in regret and grief. Please note, when I say ‘regret’, doesn’t mean I regret what we’ve been through. I never regret anything about you, about this doomed relationship, nor about our love.

What I regret is I fail to provide you happiness. There’s no need to have pity on me, nor should you forgive me.

This is the punishment I got to take.

Fare thee well, Querido. I know you’ll find the happiness I fail to provide, because you deserve it. You will always have my heart. My prayer. My love.